Today was a bittersweet one for me. I speak as if it's over but there you are. I turned in my two weeks' notice at my morning job. I'm going to miss everyone there, and I'm sure there are going to be days I wish I could be going back, but this is for the best I think. New paths are opening to me right now, and I can't pursue them if I'm tethered down by overworking myself. I need more flexibility and work that fits more into my personal hours of operation; these early mornings are killing me.
I'll now be free to focus more on the restaurant work, networking, and working on my at-home projects. I'll start up with the Slumber Parties business in the next week (just waiting to get to the credit union so I can deposit enough cash to purchase my kit), and who knows where from there I can go. I want to start helping others more, but I need to nurture myself first.
It's been a rough few months, mostly because I allowed myself to be drained. The thought of being around more than two or three other people at a time doesn't even appeal to me anymore. I want to sleep all day and then my mind is overly alert when I should be resting. My energy isn't being directed how I'd like for it to be. My studies are going to the wayside and that's not what I want.
Once I get free, I'm planning to start work on personal pursuit of the Enochian system. That has thus far been my favorite and it calls to me, especially after the last time we did the group ritual. Where it will go, I don't know, but I do need to work on balancing what I've spent much of my time dedicated to. I won't be moving away from the darker side of things, but adding to it. I've always felt that I walk a 'grey' path, one of light and dark in tandem, and I think finding that balance will ultimately yield the answers I seek.
I walk the twilight path, the finest of lines where light and dark blur and become more. There is where my lantern awaits, and there I will lift it and begin my life's work. Fitting, as I begin my 25th year, to also start carving that path.